Healthy Relationship Program: Set Goals to Improve Your Bond

Imagine a life without objectives. That's right, act as though you've just accomplished every single objective you could possibly have, from the small-minded ones like getting out of bed and cleaning your teeth to the broader ones like becoming a partner at the company.

You probably can't even imagine it. Because without objectives (the ones you deliberately identify and the ones you simply accomplish), our lives may seem like unorganized, ephemeral periods of time. You may be directed, energized, and motivated by setting goals. And achieving your goals is a really satisfying experience.

Healthy Relationship Program: Set Goals to Improve Your Bond

Write out three significant goals that you wish to accomplish in your life right now.

Then consider the facets of your life that are most significant to you and the things that you value most in life.

If you're anything like the folks I just polled, you probably have objectives like working less and earning more money, getting out of debt, exercising more, and losing weight that you can stay off. The two most popular goals were financial and physical.

I then asked the same people for a new kind of list—a list of the things in life they value most. Nearly everyone talked about their marriage or long-term companion. The list of what is most important to you was topped by people and relationships.

Relationship Goals are MIA:

What I find amazing is as follows. The folks I polled didn't have any goals for their marriage or relationship, which is what they value most in life. Marriage is put on the back burner while making goals. The idea that a healthy relationship would look for itself is harmful. This idea is completely false, as evidenced by the prevalence of unsuccessful partnerships.

Establish a vision for your relationships.

Having a vision of the sort of spouse or partner you want to be, as well as the kind of relationship that is important to both you and your partner, is essential for setting relationship goals. This vision should be compatible with your own beliefs. You'll find yourself stuck on the road to your relationship destination if your goals and values aren't in alignment.

A roadmap that gives your relationship direction is a set of relationship goals. Maintaining the connection at this level might be your objective if it already fulfills your vision.

An exercise to assist you in setting relationship goals:

Imagine that your partner has been engaged by UCLA to instruct a course about you. The syllabus serves as a record of the kind of partner or spouse you have been during the course of your relationship. She will discuss your partner's strengths and faults without holding anything back. A curious audience wanting to learn everything there is to know about you will be presented with the full truth (as your spouse sees it).

How do you think they will describe you?

Please be as honest as you can in your response. You won't set any worthwhile goals if you find yourself avoiding this process or concentrating more on what you'd like your spouse to say. To help you create objectives that will improve your relationship or marriage, keep in mind that this exercise is meant to assist you in taking a realistic look at yourself as a partner. You must prepare yourself for some uncomfortable realities. I guarantee it will be worthwhile.

It's possible to find relationship gold in the void:

There will be a discrepancy between what you want your lecture partner to say and what s/he actually says. You'll utilize the information in this gap to establish relationship objectives. Remember that setting and achieving relationship objectives entails making a commitment to altering your behavior. You should be the center of attention, not what you think your spouse ought to do differently.

How large is this gap, and what can you do to close it? is the key query.

You may start gathering the data you require to formulate your relationship objectives when you start taking actions to find the answer to this question. Don't rush this; it should be a process that you revisit frequently.
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