Thursday, August 4, 2016

Do Some People Get Back With Their Ex In Order To Avoid How They Feel?

When a relationship comes to an end, one can experience a sense of relief, and this can mean that they won't feel the need to get back together with the person they were with. Even so, this doesn't mean that the other person is having the same experience.

As a result, they can try and revive the relationship, and one could start to wonder when they are going to move on. One could feel as though they have outgrown each other, and there will then be no reason for them to get back together.

Do Some People Get Back With Their Ex In Order To Avoid How They Feel?


If this isn't the case, there is the chance that the relationship was abusive, and then this will show that one is doing the right thing. The person they have left is not going to be healthy and it will be in their best interest to keep them out of their life.

Through spending time with them, they will know how destructive they are. What this will show is that one is no longer willing to tolerate their bad behaviour, and that they have changed.

The Other Person

If person they were with does try to revive the relationship, they could remind them of all the good times that they shared together. During this time, they could talk about how it would be a shame for them to throw away what they have created.

Thus, they could send them texts and call them, and they may even end up turning up where they live. Along with this, they could even send one flowers and/or chocolates, for instance.

One Step Further

What they do can all depend on what their financial situation is, but then again, this might not matter. If they were in a position where they had plenty of money, they might offer to take them on holiday.

This could then be seen as a time where it will be possible for one see how they are meant to be together. Or they could offer to take them to a restaurant that they always used to go to, and this will be seen as somewhere that will get them back on track.

Another Approach

However, if this approach doesn't work, they might try to manipulate one into getting back together with them. This could be a time where they will say that they won't find someone as good as them, or that they will soon realize what they have lost.

There is the chance that this is something that will happen straight away if they were with someone who was abusive. They could believe that one is weak, and that they will be able to get them to come back through treating them how they did before.


It is then going to be important for them to stand their ground, and to focus on why they left them in the first place. If they have left them because they have grown apart, then there will be no reason for them to change their mind.

This is also going to be the case if they were with someone who was abusive. Yet if one does feel a pull to go back with them, it might be a good idea for them to reach out for support.

Emotional Regulation

Having said that, one could leave a relationship that is not having a positive effect on their life and then before long, they could get back together with them. They could spend a few days or even weeks apart, or it could be even longer.

When this happens, one could find that they start to feel better, but then as time passes, they could soon return to how they felt when they were with them before. What this is likely to show is that one went back with them to change how they feel.


If one was to reflect on how they felt when they left the relationship, they could find that they felt as though they couldn't handle life. This could have been a time when they felt abandoned.

Due to how they felt, it wouldn't have been possible for them to pay attention to their true needs. It could be said that it would have been a time when it felt like their survival was under threat, and this then stopped them from being able to think clearly.


It then won't matter if they want to leave the relationship, as they will feel as though they have no control over their life. They can either stay with someone they don't want to be with, or they can leave them and end up feeling overwhelmed.

This doesn't mean that one won't leave them again though, but it could only be a matter of time before they return. When this happens, it could be because one has emotionally settled down, and then once they leave, they will soon come into contact with how they felt the last time they left them.

A New Experience

In order for one to leave their partner and for them to stay away, it will be necessary for them to change what is taking place within them. Unless this takes place, they will continue to experience life in the same way.

If one does feel abandoned when they leave a relationship, it could be due to what took place during their younger years (or what didn't take place). Perhaps one was neglected during these years, and although time has passed, the past is still defining their life.

In Control

On one level, one will want to be with someone who is right for them, and at a deeper level, they will want to do everything they can to avoid being by themselves. The reason that what is taking place at a deeper level is in control of their life is because it is the strongest part.


But regardless what one has been through up until this point, it is possible for them to change their circumstances. For this to take place, the pain that is within them will need to be processed, and this can be done with the assistance of a therapist.

Article Source: Oliver JR Cooper

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