9 Different Ways To Know If Your Partner Genuinely Loves You or Not


There are several ways that can actually help you to gauge how much your partner loves and cares for you. But the first and foremost thing is that it is important to know if they truly love you or not. Here are some of the ways that can help you to learn whether your lover truly loves you.

9 Different Ways To Know If Your Partner Genuinely Loves You or Not



1. The person should not be selfish in bed: Ah well, this is the first and foremost thing that you need to take care of and observe carefully. Your partner should be extremely careful and take care of your likes and what actually turns you on or off. Your partner's motto should not be only sex and nothing else. rather he/she should understand what is good and what is bad for you. Your partner should be your best friend when in bed also.

2. Your partner will always stop you from doing anything that is irrational: Whenever you seem to do anything irrational, your partner who truly loves you from the core of his/her heart will always stop you from doing so.

3. He/She takes good care of you when you happen to be sick: Suppose you suddenly fall ill, and then a true lover will definitely care for you as much as they can and even going beyond normal limits. After all, they love you. But someone who does not love you truly will never ever do so.

4. They always ask for your opinion: Whenever, any important decision is to be made, then if your partner truly loves you then that person will seek your opinion and discuss with you and never simply impose their opinion on you.

5. Your partner does not feel insecure in case you happen not to pick up the call: Suppose you overlook his/her call and fail to answer the call, then if your partner truly loves you from the bottom of his/her heart, then the person will never feel insecure and frustrated. They will take it as a normal situation that can occur to anyone.

6. They believe in and also do small things to make you happy: Well, in true love, your partner will always have a belief that small things can make each other happy. So, always keep in mind this is another vital point that distinguishes a true lover from a fake one.

7. They will always listen to you and not simply hear what you say: Well, there is a stark difference between hearing and listening. While hearing is simply a physiological process, listening is a psychological process. Hearing involves simply hearing anything and everything, while on the other hand listening means properly hearing and then analyzing what you say and acknowledging what is perceived. And the vital thing is that a true lover will never hear but always listen properly to what you say.

8. They boldly say that they love you: True lovers will never ever be afraid to say it loud that they love you. They will boldly exclaim that they love you and will never be sacred to utter those three golden words.

9. They have the same behavior in front of friends: It is another vital point perhaps. Only a true lover will always behave as they always do in front of their as well as your friends. If they behave differently, then it is a thing of concern.

RELATED: Ways To Keep The Romance Alive


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Anirban_Ghosh/1366125

How to Find Love Again After a Breakup or Divorce - Understand The Psychology


So you are wondering how to find love again after a breakup. Don't worry, I will show you that finding love again is easier than what you might have thought.


How to Find Love Again After a Breakup or Divorce


How to find love again after divorce or a breakup


Tip #1. Accept that your past relationship is over

There is a psychological principle behind this. The recovery process won't happen until you accept your losses. This principle applies to all type of losses.

Let's suppose that you invest some money on stock market. For a whole year, whenever you check your shares you see that their prices are going down. You feel bad and you think that you should have invested your money somewhere else.

You feel bad about your losses on the stock market. One day you see that the stock market is crashed and you lost all of your money you invested. Tell me what you would do in this situation.

You may feel bad for a while, but thereafter you will try to find other ways to invest and raise your money.

The same thing happens when you invest yourself into a wrong relationship. You give the best of what you can to the relationship to make it survive, but it doesn't survive and you finally face a painful breakup.

At this stage, if you accept the break up then finding love again won't be too much difficult for you. However, if you don't get yourself out from the denial stage and keep yourself daydreaming about the old beautiful days then the possibility to find love again will be very little for you.

So the key point to be remembered is to accept your losses.

Tip #2. Don't repeat the same mistake

Painful memories become fade as time passes by. You don't remember the pain you are feeling right now after five years.

To make it happen, you need to do one thing which is not to repeat the same mistake you did in your past relationship.

Every failure teaches us a new lesson. We gain experience from our failures. But only wise people take advantage of their failures and they learn lessons from them.

When they start again they don't repeat the same mistakes which lead them to the failures. And then they become successful.

When it comes to learn how to find love again after a breakup, you need to do the same thing. Don't repeat the mistakes which made your relationship to suffer a lot. Learn from your mistakes.

Don't choose someone as your partner just because she looks good or he has fame. Choosing a relationship partner based on any single factor can be a huge mistake.


RELATED: Why Am I Still Single



Tip #3. Don't become an owl

Some bad experiences change our thoughts about a certain thing. I hope that it won't happen to you.

Some women claim that all men are dogs. As I know a lot about psychology, I find that their claims are based on what they experienced and it is not what is true.

I find that those women are attracted to jerks (because of some unknown reasons); later they become victim of infidelity. Therefore, they adopt a wrong concept that all men are dogs.

An owl sleeps all day therefore it isn't able to see the sun. This makes it believes that the sun doesn't exist. I hope that you would not think like an owl.

If you found a wrong partner in the past then it doesn't mean that there are no good men or women on the earth.

It only means you haven't managed to attract someone good from the opposite sex yet. There are lots of good partner out there who are waiting for someone as good as you are.



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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Alex_J._Stevenson/899924

Don't Feel Chemistry With Nice Guys? Here's How to Change That!


Have you ever felt frustrated that you seem to get hopelessly "head over heels" for unavailable men, yet find yourself hopelessly impervious to the advances of nice guys who are genuinely available and ready for a serious relationship? Would you like to change this pattern so you can finally start enjoying a great relationship and quit wasting time with men who play hot-and-cold with your emotions? Keep reading to see how the science of psychology can come to your rescue!



Don't Feel Chemistry With Nice Guys? Here's How to Change That!


In a classic study of social psychology, Dutton and Aron conducted an intriguing study in which a female experimenter stood at the end of two different bridges, and asked random men who crossed the bridge to tell a short story as part of a psychology experiment. The first bridge was a safe, sturdy bridge ten feet over a calm rivulet- we'll call that one the "safe bridge" for our purposes here. The second bridge was rickety, scary bridge that traversed a 230-foot drop to rocks and rapids- we'll keep it simple and call that one the "scary bridge" here. What the researchers found was that the men who crossed the scary bridge were more likely to use sexual or romantic imagery in their stories. These men who crossed the scary bridge were also more likely to rate the female experimenter as attractive, even though it was actually the same woman at the end of both bridges.

Why did the men crossing the scary bridge tell more sexual or romantic stories and rate the female experimenter as more attractive than the men who crossed the safe bridge? Results suggest that these men misattributed their arousal symptoms (such as increased heart rate or sweaty palms) that arose from crossing a highly stimulating, albeit somewhat scary bridge to romantic or sexual attraction for the woman.

This study may explain a phenomenon I've seen in my practice. Many of my female clients complain that they don't feel chemistry with nice guys; yet find themselves drawn to men who are unpredictable and keep them guessing (I also occasionally see this in my male clients). If you experience this in your own dating life, you will want to learn how to see good guys as more exciting and the not-so-good guys as less so. Keep reading for tips on how to do this!

Make a List

Your first step will be to make a list of Scary Bridge behaviors. Scary Bridge behaviors are behaviors that are undesirable in a dating partner, and which therefore may result in considerable worry or irritation for you. Unfortunately, this worry or irritation can often be misattributed as attraction for the man who is provoking the worry or irritation. That is why it's important to identify these behaviors so you can recognize them as they occur. Your list may include the following:
  • Showing up late to a date (even if for a good reason- any type of lateness can increase anticipation, which increases physiological arousal)
  • Canceling a date at the last minute (again, even if for a good reason- the point here isn't to evaluate his reasons, just to notice the effect of the behavior on your physiological arousal)
  • Suggesting a date but failing to make clear plans with you or keeping you guessing about exactly when/where the date will occur
  • Telling you he isn't sure if he's ready for a relationship

It's important not to get stuck in trying to evaluate whether his reasons are "good" or not for the behaviors above. To your body, it makes no difference- if there are sudden changes or periods of uncertainty, your level of physiological arousal can get heightened. We all have occasional last-minute emergencies, but if you're dating someone who seems to have an endless array of issues (sick mother, emergency meeting, been hurt in the past, the list goes on... and on... and on... ), consider that his unavailability could actually be creating drama that ironically actually makes him more tantalizing.

In addition to your Scary Bridge list, you will also want to make a list of Safe Bridge behaviors. These are behaviors which you may have previously seen as sappy or boring, but which are often found in good guys. Your list of Safe Bridge behaviors may include the following:

  • Showing up to a first date with flowers
  • Offering to pick you up or see you home
  • Arriving on time for dates
  • Ending a date with plans to see you again
  • Making it clear that he is smitten with you (nice but cheesy text messages, nervous laughter, sweaty palms, finding himself tongue-tied in an awkward silence, nervous about first kiss, etc) 

Reading this, you may be thinking that you do like it when a guy does some of the Safe Bridge things above, yet you still find yourself attracted to unavailable men. But consider the context of those behaviors. If you find yourself attracted to men who do Safe Bridge behaviors inconsistently, these behaviors may excite you mainly due to their rarity. Intermittent reinforcement is actually the most excitement provoking- this is why casinos set slot machines to give rewards in a randomly ordered manner where the user never knows what to expect, and keeps chasing the rewards. Don't let intermittent reinforcement create a misleading sense of excitement that keeps you trapped in a holding pattern with a Mr Wrong who plays hot-and-cold with your emotions or your schedule.

Re-Slot Behaviors 

After making your list of Scary Bridge and Safe Bridge behaviors, you will next want to change the way you see these behaviors. While you may find Scary Bridge behaviors to be exciting or signs that a man must be "hard to get" or "just so busy and successful" or "really cool and not rushing things", you will want to re-slot these behaviors as flaky, non-assertive, and undesirable. The goal is to get to the point where you can roll your eyes at these behaviors rather than getting tantalized by them.

You will also want to re-slot Safe Bridge Behaviors. Below are some ideas on how to see nice guys as more exciting:

  • Think about how thrilling it would be to get engaged or to plan a wedding. How can the cheap excitement that flaky guys provide compare to the thrill of being in a deep relationship that leads to marriage?
  • Do something a little scary with your date, such as going to a horror movie. Should you misattribute your fear as attraction for your date in this context, it would be a positive thing!
  • Come up with a sexual fantasy to imagine while on a date with Mr Nice Guy. If you need help coming up with ideas, you might try searching online for erotica or porn till you find something that really excites you- it should feel naughty, forbidden, or whatever it takes to get your heart racing. When you go on a date with a nice guy who might feel so safe that he's a little boring, call the fantasy material mind while you focus your gaze on your date. This will help arouse your body and make you more open to advances from Mr Nice Guy. 

If you are able to successfully re-slot Safe and Scary Bridge behaviors, this could go a long way towards reducing frustration in your dating life. I have seen my clients apply the principles in this article to great success.


RELATED: Why Am I Still Single



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Dr_Chloe_Carmichael/2188814

How To Set Boundaries In A New Relationship


When the book, The Rules, by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, first came out in 1995, it became an instant worldwide hit. Women everywhere were drawn to the concept of having a set of 'rules' to help them navigate the early stages of their romantic relationships.

How To Set Boundaries In A New Relationship



Although I don't necessarily agree with the 'rules' themselves, the idea of having a set of personal parameters of what you will and won't accept when you're dating, is a concept I can get behind.

Boundaries are a set of rules we create to let people know how we would like to be treated. They also determine how other people's actions and words affect us and how our own behaviour and words can affect others.

Being crystal clear about how you want to be treated is so important when entering into any new relationship. Setting up the understanding of what you prefer gives the other person the opportunity to figure out if they can meet your expectations, or not.

Once the relationship is established your desire for closeness should be met with closeness. If your new partner only ever wants to hook up on a Friday night after they've already been out, but having an actual conversation with them is like pulling teeth, then it's probably a good sign that they don't want the same thing as you.

If this is happening, and you find yourself making excuses for them, then you need to be honest with yourself and ask why you're putting up with that sort of behaviour.

Being flexible is important. Allowing room for mistakes is okay, but when their pattern of behaviour feels like you have to constantly adjust something within yourself, then it's time to make a decision about what you really want.

A friend of mine recently met a guy through an online dating site. They had a good connection and started emailing each other on a regular basis. One day he sent her an email and called her by a different name. At first she corrected him and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

The second time it happened, well let's just say, he ran smack bang into her boundary!

Whether you or I would have given him a second chance is not important, because boundaries are unique to each person. What my friend knew was that she was also talking to more than one person, and it could have been an honest oversight. By the second time, she felt it was a sign he wasn't putting in much effort, and that definitely didn't bode well for a long and happy future together.

Here are my top three boundary-setting guidelines:

Mildly annoying behaviours vs. deal breakers

Like it or not, people aren't perfect. There's going to be behaviours that annoy you from time to time.

That's totally normal. But there are behaviours that you'll want to (and should) draw a line at. Having a good understanding of what the difference is for you can help you decide when to be flexible, and when to call it a day.

When the tables are turned

How do you react when someone says 'no' to you? How do you go with someone else's boundary?

Can you handle hearing a 'no' without trying to push your own agenda or sulk? To be clear, I'm talking about the everyday 'nos' as opposed to outright rejection. Both people need to able to hear 'no' without taking it personally, and adapt accordingly. If for whatever reason you can't accept their boundary, then it's probably time to call it a day.

Getting your own needs met

Do you find it difficult to tell people what you need or want from them or the situation? Sometimes it is just easier to keep quiet and go along with things, but if you can't or won't set boundaries, people will start to treat you like a doormat. People ultimately respect and admire those who can set clear boundaries and express them with confidence from the outset.

Ultimately, when we understand what it is that we like, or don't like, we can communicate that in a way that's respectful to ourselves, and others. Whether or not the other person chooses to accept our boundary is entirely out of our control.

RELATED: Does The Fear Of Rejection Cause Some Men To Please Women



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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Julia_Nowland/2428821