Love Times: goal setting

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Showing posts with label goal setting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goal setting. Show all posts
I am sure you have heard several stories about women who fall for a guy and after a few months into the relationship realize that he wasn't the right one and that's the time when everything becomes just too hard to handle.

So I am guessing that you are reading this article because you are stuck in a mental cycle of confusion and aren't sure whether the man you are with is even right for you or not.

Is He Right for Me? Ask the Love Psychic: The 5 P's of Love That Last a Lifetime


Is he right for me? How do I know? Am I wasting my time? Will he love me forever, or is he waiting for someone better to come along? What are the signs that he cares about me, as much as I care about him? How can I gauge his commitment level? Where do I fall on the totem pole of what's MOST important to him?

Any of these questions sound familiar? If you are anything like the tens of thousands of women who have enjoyed our articles on love, romance, and spiritual soul mates... the truth is, we are ALL a little bit insecure about our relationships. And as intuitive empaths, we get more questions about commitment than just about anything else, especially for relationships that have not yet hit that "A-ha" threshold. (you know... where you finally realize that you are meant to be together, forever)

And while there are intuitive ways to tell if someone is right for you that are a bit hard to describe in an article, what I like to tell people is that you can use your OWN inner intuitive guidance to test your existing relationship. (no psychic reading required!)

How so?

I like to refer to these as the 5P's of a happy, healthy and spiritually successful foundation. They don't always reveal whether someone is your trust soulmate or twin flame, but they can reveal whether you should continue invest your precious time with another person, or move on to someone else.

Here are the 5 P's.

Priority: How much does he (or she) prioritize YOU? Are you #1? Or are you a secondary option in his pantheon of plans?

Passion: Is it there? Do YOU feel it? How about your partner? Chemistry is an undeniable factor that far too many people give up at their own peril.

Patience: Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells? Does he give you the time and space you need to express your feelings? Patience is the knowledge that time is not a factor for either of you... as your bond is bigger than your bodies, and in my view, larger than a single lifetime as well!

Purpose: Do you share the same sense of life purpose? This is so key when it comes to spiritual soul mates and twin flames. If you have totally different "goals", the chances are, at some point your paths will be pulled part in pursuit of what is most important to each of you. When you SHARE a sense of purpose, that feeling of being part of a true team who are accomplishing great things together can move mountains, and heaven and earth together.

Protection: Lastly, do you feel safe with him? Does being in his arms, or merely in the same room feel like a natural space where everything is going to be OK? There is something so incredibly special about feeling like you are with the one you are meant to be with, and that nothing can pierce the inner sanctum of spiritual safety that you co-create together!

Of course there are all sorts of other ways to intuit whether the man you love is your spiritual soulmate... or just a stepping stone on the path to authentic love. But the tips above are practical, and are a good way of getting your own questions answered using your own intuition! (no psychic reading required!)

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9041056

Is He Right for Me? Ask the Love Psychic: The 5 P's of Love That Last a Lifetime - Here are some useful insights you can use to finally figure out if he is right for you or not


RELATED: 15 Remarkable Qualities That Mean She May Be Mrs. Right

Is He Right for Me? Ask the Love Psychic: The 5 P's of Love That Last a Lifetime


What makes the perfect woman? Is she a Martha Stewart replica ironing your shirts flawlessly while blueberry flax seed muffins are baking in the oven? Perhaps she's a supermodel with a picture-perfect body. Well the truth is, neither of these are true. Most guys are just looking for their perfect match. It can be hard to know if the person standing beside you is the one. You could trust your gut, but statistics show our guts are wrong at least fifty percent of the time.

Remarkable Qualities That Mean She May Be Mrs. Right


Here are 15 remarkable qualities that mean she may be Mrs. Right and you should never let her go.

1. She makes you want to be a better man. If you are suddenly caring about getting in shape or going out of your way for romantic gestures, she is bringing out the best in you.

2. She accepts your faults. Whether you forget to take the trash out or don't shower on weekends, this woman lets you be you. She doesn't try to make you her next fit-it project.

3. She is smart. A woman with brains will keep you interested, teach you things, and be able to argue her point-of-view.

4. She tells you when you are wrong. Admit it, guys make the wrong decisions every now and then and do stupid things. Even if you don't think you want to be told you're wrong, you do. Wouldn't you rather have a woman who stands up to you rather than a doormat?

5. She is kind and nurturing. If you think you may want to someday have a family, a woman that's kind and nurturing will be a great mother.

6. She keeps her cool in arguments. Arguments are going to happen, it's a fact of life. If you can get through them without her crying or making you punch a hole in the wall, you're in great shape.

7. She is strong, but feminine. No, we don't mean she lifts weights in a pink dress. This woman is proud of who she is but also lets you kill the spiders.

8. She trusts and respects you. Feeling trusted is one of the most important characteristics in a relationship. You know she trusts you when you she confidently respects guy's nights and doesn't get angry (even if you do stumble home drunk at 2 a.m.).

9. She is confident. You want her to love you, not need you. Nothing is better than a woman who's comfortable in her own skin and doesn't have to ask, "Does this dress make my thighs look big?"

10. She has her own life apart from you. She has a well-rounded life that she's created for herself that includes healthy friendships, an established career, hobbies, and future goals.

11. She is driven and motivated. Without drive, there is no purpose. Without purpose, she will never truly be happy.

12. She is emotionally stable. Crazy girls may be fun, but you don't want to spend your life with someone who is loving you one minute only to be throwing your stuff out the window the second.

13. She takes care of herself. She doesn't have to be a supermodel that only drinks kale juice and eats raw broccoli, but everyone should stay healthy and keep up on their appearances.

14. She is fun and adventurous. Having a woman who is vivacious, energetic and driven for adventure will add a dynamic to your life that will only make you happier.

15. She loves you. This is, by far, the most important quality any woman can have. When a woman loves you she loves you with her entire heart and you should never let that go.

A good woman may be hard to find, but they do exist. If she has even three-quarters of these qualities then you've got a keeper.

RELATED: Why Am I Still Single


Relationship Goals - 15 Remarkable Qualities That Mean She May Be Mrs. Right


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9277332

15 Remarkable Qualities That Mean She May Be Mrs. Right


Imagine your life without goals. That's right: pretend you just wiped away every single goal imaginable--from the mundane sort like getting out of bed and brushing your teeth to the bigger variety, like making partner at the firm. I bet you can't imagine it. Because without goals (the ones you consciously name and the ones you just carry out), our lives might feel like unstructured, amorphous stretches of time. Setting goals can direct, energize and motivate you. And meeting your goals is a tremendously rewarding experience.

Healthy Relationship Program - Set Goals and Transform Your Relationship


Take a moment to jot down three goals that are important to you--things you want to achieve in your life.

Then think about which aspects of your life are most important to you--what you cherish most in life.

If you're anything like the people I recently surveyed, then your goals include things like: making more money while working less, exercising more and losing weight (and keeping it off) and getting out of debt. Money and health topped the goal-setting list.

Then I asked these same individuals for a different type of list--a list of what they cherish most in life. Almost all discussed their relationship with their spouse or life partner. People and relationships topped the what's-most-important-to-you list.

Relationship Goals are MIA:

Here's what I find remarkable. The people I surveyed didn't have any goals for what they cherish most in life--their relationship or marriage. When it comes to goal-setting, marriage is left at the curb. There's a dangerous assumption lurking that a good relationship will take care of itself. The frequency of failed relationships tells us this assumption is dead wrong.

Your Relationship Roadmap: Create a vision

In order to create relationship goals, it's important to have a vision that details the kind of spouse or partner you aspire to be as well as the type of relationship that is important to you and your partner--this picture should be consistent with your personal values. When your goals are out of sync with your values, you'll find yourself stalled on the road to your relationship destination.

A set of relationship goals is a roadmap that lends direction to your relationship. If your relationship already meets your vision, then working to keep the relationship at this level can be your goal.

An exercise to help you create relationship goals:

Imagine that your partner has been hired to teach a class about you at UCLA. The syllabus is a written testament to the type of spouse or partner you've been throughout the history of your relationship. Not holding anything back, s/he will detail your strengths and weaknesses as a partner. The entire truth (as your partner sees it) will be unfurled for an eager audience motivated to learn all about you.

What do you imagine s/he will say about you?

Respond to this question as honestly as possible. If you find yourself resisting this exercise or focusing more on what you'd like your partner to say, you won't establish any meaningful goals. Remember, this exercise is designed to help you take a realistic look at yourself as a partner, a necessary step in creating goals that will make a difference in your relationship or marriage. You will need to open yourself up to some truths that may sting. Take my word--it will be well worth it.

There's relationship gold to be found in the gap:

There will be a gap between what you'd like your partner to convey in his/her lecture and what s/he would actually say. This gap contains valuable information that you'll use to set up relationship goals. Keep in mind that establishing and reaching relationship goals means committing to changing your behavior. The focus should be on you and not what you believe your partner should do differently.

The guiding question is: How wide is this gap and what can you do to narrow it?

When you begin to take steps to answer this question, you start accumulating the information you need to create your relationship goals. Don't rush this--it should be a process that you come back to over and over again.


Ready to discover more about relationship goal-setting and other practical ways to transform your relationship?




Find out how to create the relationship of your dreams: Sign up for the free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter at http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and immediately receive two FREE reports that will help you achieve your relationship potential.

Rich Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Richard_Nicastro,_Ph.D./113835

Healthy Relationship Program - Set Goals and Transform Your Relationship


When you think of goal setting, it's not a sexy topic. At first blush, you might not think about goals and your relationship at the same time. However, unless you give attention to your relationship, it will stay the same. We just love that quote defining insanity:

Relationship Goal-Setting: It Isn't Sexy, But It Works


"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result."

So ask yourself: Has your relationship been "stuck?" Are you going insane? Maybe it's time for you and your partner to start creating some relationship goals.

For example, if you are dating casually, you may have a goal to advance the relationship to exclusivity. If you are in an exclusive relationship, you may have a goal to get engaged, get married or move in together. If you are happily married, you may have a goal to build an extraordinary relationship. If you are unhappily married, you may have a goal of reviving your relationship.

Individual Goals vs. Joint Goals Made Simple

There are two categories of relationship goals:

(1) Individual goals about the relationship, and

(2) Joint goals about the relationship.

Here is an example of each. "I want to become a better listener" is an individual goal. "We will add more play and fun to our relationship by making an extra date night on Wednesdays" is a joint goal. Here's the difference: with the joint relationship goals, both partners must agree to them and participate in them.

Our Goals Setting Process Made Simple


  1. On our own, we write or revise our own individual goals. These individual goals include personal goals and individual relationship goals. These do not need to be agreed upon, and sharing is optional.
  2. Next, we individually write some ideas for joint relationship goals.
  3. We share our joint relationship goals with each other and begin the process of crafting mutually agreeable joint goals. When we both come up with a similar goal, it's easy to meld our individual versions into a common goal. When they don't meld, we discuss them. Some become joint goals, and some get pitched.


For example, Lewis' proposed goal of a scuba diving vacation got nixed when he discovered Diane is not a fan of the underwater world. However, Diane's proposal for working together on a flower garden was happily adopted by Lewis. We never try to coerce each other into adopting a joint goal that we are not both excited about.

Things Not To Forget

We make our goals comprehensive, covering all aspects of our relationship: home, family, work, leisure and finances. We ask two questions that help us create our joint goals:

(1) What do we value in our relationship, and
(2) What do we want to improve in our relationship?

We write down our goals. Why? The kinetic energy of hand writing goals seems to help with the manifestation process. Our goals, whether joint or individual, become clearer and easier to understand when written. Most importantly, we can refer back to our written goals to see how we are doing. This helps us stay committed.

Think Big, Plan Small

We think BIG about our goals so that they excite us. For example, a set of financial goals might include: be debt-free, obtain a vacation home and retire at age 62. However, once we agree on the big goal, we plan the small steps necessary to achieve those goals. These small action steps are things we can achieve in the current year. We love feeling successful and we always celebrate our little wins. We make sure our celebrations are ridiculously fun!

Benefits of Goal Setting

First: We connect to each other as we dream about our future together.

Second: We discover where our dreams are not in alignment and decide how to deal with that without judging or arguing

Third: We create action steps that will ensure our success as a couple.

"Hold an image of the life you want, and that image will become fact" -- Dr. Vincent Norman Peale

The Fun of Sharing Our Individual Goals with Each Other

Although our individual goals don't necessarily have anything to do with our relationship, we can choose to share these with each other. This helps us understand what is important to each other. Intimacy is instantly created. Furthermore, we find ways to help and support each other accomplish our goals. For example, Lewis has a goal to walk 20 minutes each day and Diane has a goal to do two Toastmaster speeches a month. We support each other by scheduling daily walks together during which Diane practices her speeches.

Using a Coach

When you have a coach, you do what you say you're going to do. Why? Because you know that your coach is going to ask you if you followed through. We like to call it "healthy pressure."

Throughout history, kings, presidents, rulers, athletes and actors have used coaches. Today, coaches are used in many areas of life, including relationships.

There is no lack of information about coaching. Suffice it to say that we have used a fabulous coach and now offer relationship coaching to others.

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Here it is--an oldie but goodie--like business goals, relationship goals should be S.M.A.R.T.: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. The more your goals embody these five characteristics, the more likely you are to achieve them.




Whether single, dating or not, or in a relationship can download two free chapters of Diane and Lewis Denbaum's book "Madly In Love Forever." For details on how to claim your two free chapters go to http://www.madlyinloveforever.com/free-chapters/.
"Madly In Love Forever" is available as a softcover book, Kindle Book, eBook, audio CD, or MP3 download. Diane and Lewis are relationship success coaches and their book is packed with heartfelt stories, easy-to-use help and no-nonsense advice to help you create the happy relationship you desire. You can put an end to the loneliness and frustration of "relationship suffering." Most chapters contain practical action steps that readers can start using immediately. Visit the Denbaums' on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/MadlyInLoveForever.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Diane_Denbaum/598836

Relationship Goal-Setting: It Isn't Sexy, But It Works