Tuesday, September 29, 2020

What a Woman Should Do To Be Happy After a Divorce

Is it difficult for you to be happy again after the divorce? Do you think you will never have a partner again? Do you feel unsuccessful, insecure, afraid?

how to move on after divorce as a woman



When the relationship ends, one of the first things that comes to mind is, can I be happy again? What can I do to be happy after the breakup? ... And the truth is that you start a new trip and you have to fill your suitcase with what will really help you reach your destination, traveling that trip with confidence, courage and firmness.

It is not the end of the world and neither are you the worst woman, because it is better to leave, to continue by the side of a man who does not value you, with whom you no longer understand yourself and to stay alone so as not to feel that you are letting your children down or keeping up appearances, it is time to be happy.

See the divorce as a liberating experience of everything that hurts you, that does not let you advance and that only suffocates you between four walls that stopped being a home, to become a battlefield, it is better to be happy each one by his side.

Many times women who are unhappy in their married life, do not say anything and much less make the attempt to free themselves from those chains, either for fear of being alone, because they think they are nothing without their husband's money or because they do not want to break that family.

But you can't just stand there and watch your life go by without feeling happy and just being there out of obligation, it's time to take your life back, if you decide to get a divorce, take it as another opportunity that the universe gives you to get back together and find your true place in the world.

Take your time to accept it


Separating yourself from your former husband, who will remain the father of your children forever and whom you once saw as the love of your life, is not easy. First congratulations on your decision to leave the place where you are not happy, but take the time to live that kind of grieving process.

Get used to it and start making it your priority


Don't worry about the "what am I going to do on my own now", you have incredible skills, you will know how to get ahead, become your priority, you will surely find a way to go through life, fortunately you have yourself.

Start projects that fill you up or get you excited


Now that you're divorced, you can take up those projects you left behind to get married, finish your studies, start a career, it's never too late for that, or put that business you were so excited about, become even more productive.

Your children are ahead of you


If you had children with your ex, you should know that they will always be the important thing for both of you or at least for you, so you should not wear yourself out filling their souls with negative things about their father, they realize things themselves.

Live and let live


If you're already divorced, you don't have to get involved if you start a new relationship or what you decide to do with your life, as long as it doesn't harm your children, both you and your children can choose the path that suits them best.

Boost your energy


The high energy in our body is vital to live with enthusiasm and motivation.

A breakup means embarking on a new journey, in which we will need many things. But the most important, at least what I believe and have lived is Energy. Because without it it is impossible to advance on this new path that life puts before us.

Energy is our petrol, it drives us, it sets us in motion.

There are many ways to "activate" that energy.

The one that has worked for me is exercise. For many years I have been teaching fitness and Pilates classes, and without a doubt, I feel that it is a key, super important, piece in life and more so in difficult situations when it comes to successfully facing them.

Move your body, move your energy and not only physical but also mental. And the energy of movement, of exercise, unblocks emotions, increases your creativity, brings you clarity, the benefits are numerous.

We secrete endorphins and it helps us to be well because it causes an immediate sensation of well-being.

What I'm going to tell you as a sports professional for many years, but I've also lived through two break-ups and I can speak from my own experience of the innumerable benefits of physical exercise and the changes it causes when facing a difficult life situation such as a break-up.

So I am absolutely convinced that putting your body in motion, going for a run, doing Pilates, dancing, or any other activity that moves your energy, I think is a differential factor. I understand that at the beginning you are off, without desire, blocked... but a small effort at the beginning, starting a sport activity, simple, within your reach, that does not take too much time... will change your emotional state.

In the divorce all our energy goes out, we are in the remembering, with the focus on our ex, on the circumstances that led to the breakup, on the memories...on the problems we face...and we empty ourselves. All our energy is gone. It's up to you to give yourself an "energy shot", to get that energy back to you, to fill your tank. And a little exercise every day will give you that boost of energy you need.

From there the problems are seen differently, you have more mental clarity. Besides the physical and emotional well-being that it brings you immediately.

That time you dedicate, you connect with your body, you are in you. Your focus is on your being, on your energy.

Read also: Women Who Quickly Forget Their Ex According to Their Zodiac Signs

Change of station


You are embarking on a new journey, so change your station. You're going to a different destination, with new luggage, so drop the old suitcase and focus on your new destination.

Associate your memories with everything you've learned, changing your viewpoint to the positive helps you.

We can't erase memories. In fact, they are part of our personal history.

But we can be aware of what they bring to us and decide what importance we give them now in our present moment.

Perhaps we become obsessed with FORGIVENESS and the more we try, the worse it gets, because in this way we trap painful memories in our minds.

Because both the struggle and the resistance is to make "everything remain with more intensity"

Perhaps if we stopped resisting, trying to forget, to evade, to fight against the past... we would do better.

This doesn't mean that you get stuck in memories, that you gloat, that you give them more and more shape and intensity, but that you observe them... accept them, even put a friendly smile on them, and let them go, visualize how they come and how they go, surely another thought will soon come to you.

But getting caught up in remembering... does not help you move forward, in what are after all thoughts of the past, it is meaningless because your life is now, your present moment and you need to focus on it.

Memories are thoughts and as such they bring up emotions, it is important that we realise this in order to decide and be responsible for our state.

To remain in suffering is to become attached to the pain. And that pain often comes from recreating ourselves in memories.

  • In what could have been and was not
  • In what he told us he hurt us
  • On why to me
  • In ..." there was a time when we were happy"
  • Whether or not I can avoid the end of the relationship.
  • On what I did or didn't do
  • In the unfairness of life

So in my experience the 3 most important keys that have helped me are

Acceptance. What I cannot change the past, but what I am living now and what I want to build for my future. I am the one who chooses to leave behind a stage of life, with what is good and what I know causes me pain to remember. And in this way, without reproach, without judgment, without guilt, I make a conscious exercise of forgiveness, of letting go and healing and leaving behind to start my present and future life project.

Learning. I have come into this world to learn from all that I live, good and bad. Even though I live through difficult, negative, sad, and painful situations, all of this is a learning of life. My memories, are just that, memories, and judging them as good or bad only depends on me. I perceive my reality, according to my mind and my beliefs. If my memories are my life teachings, I can build my new self from there, with more maturity and meaning in my life.

Forgive. How important it is. Letting go of the anger, the pain, the frustration, the guilt. To let it go, to feel the peace of our heart, from the love that we are. The exercise of forgiveness is a liberation. It is deciding to move forward without that heavy backpack of judgments, reproaches...

By forgiving and above all forgiving yourself; you free yourself, you heal yourself, you decide to be free and you move forward.

A practice that can help you


One of the simplest and most useful resources is writing. There is something deeply therapeutic about writing and we can bring out all the negative things in our minds by writing. Write automatically, everything you can think of, don't stop to think and let the letters flow on the paper. You will find that when you finish writing you will feel better.

Affirmations that raise my energy and help me to be happy after a break:

  • How much I have learned from everything I have experienced!
  • My life is now and I focus on what I want to do with it and what I am passionate about.
  • My life is a gift that I can and I don't allow myself to waste it.
  • I have projects, illusions, dreams, objectives, much to thank life for.
  • My life is not only "IF I HAVE OR NOT" My life is me and I am much bigger than anything or anyone I have at my side.
  • My life is not only when I AM HAPPY, but also when I am sad and I accept myself, allowing me to BE with my lights and my shadows.
  • I feel happiness within me even when I am sad because I am at peace and in balance.
  • I want to discover everything new that is to come
  • I trust that life will sustain me
  • I accept my break-up as a stage in my life, like many others.
  • After each end there is a new beginning.

 

How to Move on After Divorce As a Woman


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