Relationship Goal-Setting - It's Not Sexy, But It Works

Setting goals is not an exciting topic to think about. At first glance, you might not associate objectives with your relationship. But if you don't work on your relationship, it will stay the same. We simply adore this quotation that describes madness:

Relationship Goal-Setting: It Isn't Sexy, But It Works

"Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity."

So, consider this: Has your relationship ever been "stuck"? Are you losing your mind? Perhaps you should start setting some relationship objectives with your partner.

For instance, if you are casually dating, you might want to take the relationship to exclusivity. If you are in a committed relationship, you might want to move in together, get married, or become engaged. If your marriage is going well, you might want to create a remarkable bond. If you're a miserable spouse, you might want to save your marriage.

Simple Comparison of Individual and Joint Goals

Relationship goals fall into two categories:

(1) Individual goals about the relationship, and (2) Joint goals about the relationship.

Here is an illustration of each. An individual objective is, "I want to listen better." A mutual objective is "We will make an extra date night on Wednesdays, adding more play and joy to our relationship." The shared partnership objectives, on the other hand, require the participation and agreement of both spouses.

Our Goals Setting Process Made Simple

  1. We independently create or update our own individual goals. Personal and relational goals are included in these private objectives. Sharing is voluntary, and agreement is not required for these.
  2. Then, we each put out a few concepts for shared partnership objectives.
  3. We begin the process of creating mutually accepted joint goals by discussing our shared relationship objectives with one another. It's simple to combine our separate versions of a goal into one when we both come up with a comparable one. We talk about them when they don't blend. Some are pitched, while others become mutual aims.
For instance, when Lewis realized Diane is not a fan of the aquatic environment, his suggested objective of a scuba diving trip was scrapped. Lewis, however, gladly accepted Diane's suggestion to collaborate on a flower garden. We never attempt to force one another to choose a shared objective that we are not equally enthusiastic about.

Things to Remember

We make sure that all facets of our relationship—home, family, job, play, and finances—are included in our complete goals. Two inquiries we make assist us formulate our shared objectives:

What do we appreciate about our relationship, and what do we wish to change about it?

We jot down our objectives. Why? The kinetic energy of hand writing goals seems to aid in the manifestation process. Our goals, whether collaborative or individual, become clearer and simpler to grasp when written. Most importantly, we may review our written objectives to gauge our progress. This keeps us motivated.
Reas also: 15 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married

Think Big, Plan Small

To make our goals exciting to us, we think BIG about them. For instance, a list of financial objectives can include that you want to be debt-free, buy a vacation house, and retire at age 62. However, after we've decided on the overarching objective, we can then plan the smaller stages required to get there. We are able to do these modest actions this year. We constantly celebrate our small victories because we desire to feel accomplished. Our parties are designed to be wildly enjoyable!

Benefits of Goal Setting

First: As we daydream about our future as a couple, we get connected to one another.

Second: Without passing judgment or engaging in argument, we identify the areas where our aspirations do not coincide and determine how to proceed.

Third: We design action measures that will assure our success as a pair.

"Hold a vision of the life you want, and that image will become truth" — Dr. Vincent Norman Peale

The Pleasure of Comparing Each Other's Individual Goals

We can choose to communicate our individual goals with one another even if they may not necessarily be related to our relationship. We can better comprehend one another's priorities thanks to this. Instant intimacy is established. We also work together to support and assist one another in achieving our objectives. Lewis, for instance, wants to walk for 20 minutes every day, and Diane wants to give two Toastmaster presentations each month. We coordinate daily walks as Diane practices her speeches as a means of mutual support.

Using a Coach

When you have a coach, you follow through on your commitments. Why? because you anticipate that your coach would inquire as to your follow-through. It is what we refer to as "healthy pressure."

Kings, presidents, monarchs, sportsmen, and performers have all utilized coaches throughout history. In many facets of life today, including relationships, coaches are utilized.

There is a wealth of knowledge available on coaching. Let's just say that after working with a fantastic coach, we are now able to help others with their relationships.
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